Thursday, June 7, 2012

Women from Venus, Men from Mars... What about Teens?

So as many have heard over the years Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars. I have been thinking about it all... Where are teenagers from? I have one son who is about to turn 10 and he has ALREADY started the preteen - teen attitude problem. It happened almost over night. Sweet and loving went out the window over night and left me scratching my head thinking where did I fail as his parent? Mind you he is still sweet and loving he just has a huge attitude problem attached to it at times. I bought him a book to explain the changes physically and emotionally that he will be going through and he has read some of it. Maybe I need to read it also to understand WHY he is acting the way he is. I am a girl and I don't understand boy brain.

So far we have had to deal with my son having PTSD. Can a child really have PTSD? If so he seems to have grown out of it. He only has issues while at home. He thrives to be "the good one" as he puts it when in public. If he could just control the need to touch every single thing on a store shelf then it would be great. Then I would just have two that do it instead of three. So since my son is getting older I let him pick out his own clothes. Yea this child needs to learn what is ok for going outside to play is not ok for going out to eat. Also trying to enforce the whole hygiene importance with him. He has ADD we believe and well you can tell him go brush your teeth 10 times. He still gets distracted while on his way to do so and "forgets" what he was going to do. He hears a tv his eyes are glued. He hears or sees someone playing a video game he will drop WHATEVER he is doing to run and watch. I think this is why I have stopped playing my Facebook games that I use to play to relax in the evenings. 

It takes 10 minutes for him to unload the dishwasher usually, because it takes 10 times every minute to remind him what he was supposed to be doing. His brothers will be playing and he will get distracted and run off to play after putting one dish up. The whole I hate you and you hate me stuff has also started. Stomping off, crying and calling names (usually he hollers and says your all buttholes or your all meanies) has also gotten to be worse than before. Thankfully he is wanting to be around his family and wants to sit and play with his little brothers, but unfortunately it turns into fighting. The youngest doesn't like to watch the shows he likes to watch and is totally into his shows on Nick Jr. Yes our tv stays on Nick Jr A LOT, but it is better than the shows my oldest wants to watch. Not to mention it helps get him to talking which is what our goal in speech is. To get him to talk and learn to talk plainly. 

So have I failed somewhere to have a preteen child that doesn't listen, lies about stuff I even seen with my own eyes, fights with his brothers and his parents, stomps off crying calling names and all the other little "perks"? I am beginning to think (after dealing with my teenage niece and nephews') that no I have not failed. My son is respectful in the most part. He wants to be good especially when in public and will ask when he does do his chores and such if we are proud of him. He wants to make us proud and he wants to make us happy. He doesn't want to worry about partying, drinking, smoking dope or even having a girlfriend. I mean yea he likes girls right now and has had his first kiss and girlfriend already. But he is not worried about any of that right now. He has goals for his future that he wants and a place in his future he sees himself. 

A lot of kids say hey I want to be this when I grow up. He wants to be in the military when he grows up, but he wants to have a good job when he grows up. He wants a wife, one boy and one girl. He wants to buy his wife a new car or mini van. Whatever she wants to make her happy. He wants a nice house for his family that he worked to get and he has sat down and talked about all of these details for the future he wants. He wants to fall in love, give love and receive love. So have I failed somewhere down the line so far? No. I have realized that just like with men and women being from two different places Parents and Teens/Preteens are too. So while I am from planet earth my son is starting his journey on Planet Teen. 

So how do you deal with issues that come up in your life with your teen?

Hope everyone has a blessed day. 

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