8 hours and counting...

It is 8 hours until 2011 graces us with it's presence. I am looking forward to the new year. Most people probably would ask me why considering first thing off the bat this upcoming new year my baby boy will be under going surgery to possibly have his left kidney completely removed. Yes I am nervous about his surgery that is coming up. If I slowed down and thought about it I would be curled up in a ball depressed and crying over it until he had it done and came out completely ok. However one of my new me things I have started is to try and worry less. I have plenty of other things to worry about here and now. I will worry with that when the day is here.

Also me and my husband are hoping to improve our situation the past has dropped us in the middle of. We want to be able to have things on our own and stand on our own two feet and survive again without people holding our hand. With this I am learning how to budget and cut our cost in half on things I can cut in half. We have our few luxuries such as cable tv (which without it we wouldn't even have local channels), internet (which I use to help homeschool my middle child and will be using for help on budgeting and couponing), home phone (helps a lot when I am at home and my cell is dead or decides it doesn't want to pick up a signal), our prepaid cell phones (great for keeping people up to date on how the baby's doctor appointment is going, surgeries or let someone know I am running late so my son isn't left at school with no one to pick him up). We have our video games which we buy as cheap as possible. I have learned if there is a new game released and it cost $60 - $30 new I can probably either find it cheaper used or we can wait till it is marked down for used or new. We can find good games for our PS3 cheap for $10 sometimes. I love to look at online sales and search my favorite sites to see if I can find it cheaper. Sometimes you can find things like that really cheap special sales for store like Toys R Us and so forth.

I am learning a lot about how to save money on things from Health and Beauty items to my groceries I buy each week - month. The way things are now a days every penny saved is a blessing. Now I won't turn into this one lady who had 9 buggies full of stuff on Extreme Couponers who bought over $1000 worth for $50 and some change. This woman no lie bought thousands of boxes of pasta! Over 100 candy bars. I do plan on still being healthy with my choices. I am not going to fill my entire house with stuff that will either waste or cause health problems just, because I can get this much stuff for almost free. One guy even bought tons of hand soap just because he could get them all for free with his coupons. That is insane. Who is going to use 50 things of hand soap? I might "stockpile" 10 bottles of it at most, but that is because I have 3 children 8 and under. They can go through some hand soap now. Toothpaste too! My youngest thinks he must clean the counter, sink and his body with toothpaste sometimes. Our bathroom shall never have cavities.

Another thing I am looking forward to in 2011. Telling certain people who seem to enjoy holding stuff over my head and making me feel bad about myself bye. I will hopefully have every person who holds me back removed for good from my life. I don't care who said people are or whatever so called role they play in my life or past they will no longer be here for my future. I do not want negativity in my future, life or family anymore. My new motto for 2011 is going to be positive thinking, positive motivating and a can do attitude. I know I will probably still think I can't sometimes I am human after all, but I am hoping to push most of the I can't out and have more Can do. Even if I have to say I can do this, but I will need some help to do so. I will not be afraid to ask for help when needed. I will be a little more selective on who I except said help from, because again a certain negative nelly likes to hold her help over someone's head and say you owe me where is mine. Be it money, time or help back. These are the type of people I want to erase from my life and my future. I hope to not come across anymore like this either.

Now with that all said I sit and wait for the new year to come in. Also another thing I look forward to in 2011. The last day of 2011. Not because it will bring another new year or because I will be closer to being another year older, but because each year I end weither it is full of mostly good or mostly bad stuff I end it with my husband and children. I end it with another year I have been married to my loving husband. We have had our good and our bad times. Our ups and our downs. Every marriage has them and that is what makes a marriage "perfect", because your spouse stood beside your side through them all and excepts you still this day the way they did in the beginning. They look at you with love, caring and kindness. They don't look at you and think your imperfect. To them no matter what you are always perfect. 2011 will bring my 10 year wedding anniversary on the last day of the year. So as I celebrate my 9 year wedding anniversary today I am bringing in a new year and a fresh beginning with my husband and my children by my side.

Hope everyone has a Happy, Healthy and Safe New Year!



See you in 2011,

Wendy aka Momma

Top Ten Tuesday... 2010

Well A Twitter friend of mine does this really neat little thing every Tuesday. It is called Top Ten Tuesday. She list a top ten list of different things for different topics. Anywhere from favorite holiday memory to favorite children's books. Her blog is totally awesome by the way and you guys should totally check it out here:


Now here is my Top Ten Tuesday List...
The Top Ten (good and bad) of 2010.



*10* Spending New Year Day as a family after the year we had in 2009.

*09* My awesome birthday. It was the first time my baby boy sucked through a straw. :) This was a huge accomplishment and meant his Palate surgery worked out great!

*08* 2 days after my awesome birthday my baby boy ended up in the hospital. This was also 2 days before his birthday (which was not so awesome).

*07* My baby boy's 3rd birthday. Even though he spent it in the hospital hooked up to an IV we made it a special day. I cried though, because his nurses came in to take blood and do a cath on him. He was all happy and was telling them "It's my Birthday". After being so happy and excited that it was his birthday he had to endure pain. Unfortunately this memory still makes me cry.

*06* Being told my baby boy's left kidney was abnormal and enlarged.

*05* All of the trips to the doctor in Shreveport once a month. My little guy really is a strong one to deal with all of the test and trips. He definitely is stronger than his mommy.

*04* Thanksgiving 2010... Filled with lots and lots of food. We even took a Thanksgiving Dinner to a family who doesn't have a lot.

*03* Cub Scouts till they made me mad, never got organized and I am still waiting on my refund.

*02* Being told my baby boy is looking at having his kidney removed if they can't remove the blockage in the first month of 2011.

*01* Spending my 9 year wedding anniversary with my family on New Years Eve where we can ring in the New Year together as always. :)

These are the 10 memories good and bad that came to mind in that order. I saved my Wedding Anniversary for last, because that is a day yet to come. :) 3 days to go till 2011 is here.

If you have a Top Ten and want to join in just simply link up to Sluiter Nation's Top Ten (above) and have fun with it!

Christmas has come and gone...

The week following up to Christmas for me was a rough one. My mother had come to stay with us for at most 2 days. It went from well 2 days to 4 days. From 4 days to she was living with us. All of this without asking or consulting with me and my husband. There was no adult conversation about any of it. She tried to use my children against us on her weaseling in. End result... I had to kick her out of my home day before Christmas Eve. I had to be the bad daughter she tells everyone I am so I could be a good mother and keep my children healthy.

My mother is a smoker you see. Our home is a smoke free home. My husband quit smoking 3 years ago and even now he will smoke a cigar once in a blue moon. He smokes way out away from the house and the smell is not brought in off of his clothes. My mother went from smoking away from the house to smoking in front of the front door where the stink and smoke would seep in due to my baby boy opening the front door to see where grandma is. She then stopped spraying febreeze on herself which allowed it to come in strong on her clothes.

My house smelt like an ashtray. My youngest and my oldest were getting sick with sinus colds from it. When she was told of this her deal was no there is a virus going around. I told her she had to leave because she couldn't respect my children's health. She also claimed the stink was all in my head and/or I was just making it up to be a Bitch to her. When I tried to explain to her why she can't smell herself she started yelling about yea she's a smoker and blah blah blah. This is when I told her she had to leave and not come back.

Mind you I have not heard from my so called mother since. That is until 1 something today. She texted me wanting me to run her errands for her, because she has no way to go. Never got a Merry Christmas from her. Never got a text letting me know she got my text about her mail she got in Friday. Never even asked how her grandchildren's Christmas was. That's right. My "mother" is one of these people that if it is not all about her she does not care. Unless it is her giving my children tons of stuff for Christmas to make them happy and telling them it is all from her then she thinks they don't need it. She was mad because I spent money on them instead of giving her said money.

Now on to our Christmas. Night before Christmas Eve after she was gone that day was good. It was relaxed more and my head actually stopped hurting. I was suffering from horrid migraines and chest pains while she was here. I am guessing high blood pressure since my resting heart rate was high. We did a little brave shopping night before Christmas Eve. Went to GameStop and got some PS3 games to go with the new PS3. Told the children the games were for someone else not us, because we don't have a PS3. Went and ate at Raising Canes and enjoyed some family time. Did the bravest thing ever and adventured into Walmart. My husband picked up a last minute gift for our middle son, because Walmart finally had what he asked for in. Bought my Anniversary gift and had it sent off to be sized (it is a beautiful ring thats nice and sparkles). Had to get some pie crust and a few other things. Walmart wasn't horribly bad. Just a bit busy.

We then came home and surprised the kids with the PS3 (which we are renting for the time being from Rent a Center until We are able to buy one) just to find out surprise the PS3 isn't sending out video to the TV. Returned that one on Friday and got a PS3 move for a loaner. It is really neat! We have enjoyed it. I like the fact I can watch Netflix on my TV through it. Christmas day came and my husband cooked the turkey and his pumpkin pies. I made the sides and some pumpkin bread. Also made some rice krispy treats. My brother in law came and brought his wife and youngest son along with him. We all ate and chatted. Watched Salt after we all ate and the kids went and played. It was a nice evening.

Day after Christmas (yesterday) we relaxed around the house and then that evening went to my cousin's house. The kids got to play and had some more Christmas stuff waiting for them there. They made out like bandits this year with presents from us, Santa and my cousin and her boyfriend. They all were happy with what they got and who they got to see. It was a nice Christmas. We had a few emotional break downs amongst the little ones. It is to be expected, but all in all it was great.

Now here it sits 4 days to New Years Eve. Not only the day we say good bye to the old year and get ready for the new, but also the day I will be celebrating my 9 year wedding Anniversary. Mind you we had planned to do something special this day, because my mother was going to babysit my kids while we went out somewhere and ate just us. Now we have to plan something less extravagant and include the children in our plans. It is all good though. We will be ringing in the new year together as a family. We are happy and healthy (for the most part considering my little guy has surgery coming up in the first month of the new year) and we will all be together.

I am ready to say hello to 2011. I will take with me the good things I got from 2010 and say good bye to the bad. I will be ready to start a new and improve what I can from the mistakes I have learned from. I will hold my head up high. I will not let others bring me down (this is a new found strength I have learned to have in my life again after it was lost for many years). I will not be as hard on myself and will remind myself daily I am not perfect, but it is ok to stride to be better. I am ready to make new memories in 2011.

Merry Freakin' Christmas...

This holiday has not turned out the way I wish it would have. I have been trying to be in the Christmas spirit. Have been trying to remember the reason for the season. I have had my ups and my downs this year during the holidays, but who doesn't. Money is always a factor of stress in our home. Money has gone to being one of the last things on my mind as of yesterday afternoon. Right now I could careless if we went broke, because all I can think about is the words the doctor spoke. "We are doing surgery on January 28th. We might be looking at removing his entire left kidney."

Surgery alone on your child is scary enough, but to hear they might have to remove one of your child's organs. This is extremely scary and honestly I have held back my tears as long as I could. I can't hold them back any longer. Nightmares have started of what could happen. Worry and fear is starting to set in. It is so hard to be a parent and be strong for your child. I would love to know those with the secret to how they stay so cool under pressure.

How am I supposed to sit and be happy this Christmas knowing in a little over a month my baby boy is going to be cut open and possibly come home in lack of one organ? How am I suppose to enjoy the little joys of life with my kids this holiday? I want to smile and be happy with them. I want to do fun Christmas related things, but in the back of my mind I keep thinking about "surgery" and "removing kidney". Then I choke back and try as hard as I can to hold back my tears. Everything happens for a reason. However I am still trying to figure out the reason for all of this happening. I guess just another one of life's test.