Finally... Answers

Hello readers!

Before I get into the story behind the title I wanted to "talk" about something.

I have put some thought into my blogging and such. I started a new blog a few months back this year that focuses on business, working from home and building your business from home. Also focuses on my Avon business. I don't want to get rid of this blog at all since it has been my starting point. So, I am going to start using this one as my journal. I have mainly used it in that aspect more than anything through the years so it will be going back to being Momma Talks. I will be talking about life, my challenges and everything. I have a lot of struggles in every day life that I really don't speak out about. I have thought on it though and I know for me I wish I knew I am not alone. 

Now for the story behind the title.

This year has been a long one for me. For years off and on I have had dizzy spells. A few times I have blacked out and experienced a couple of other things, but no where near as much as I have this year. This year it seems like every time I turn around I am experiencing stroke symptoms. ER visits were bust since their hands were tied. My PCP drug feet all year on things. I should have had an MRA done months ago. It took a Neurologist who refused to even see me to say I needed one done for my PCP to say okay. It took 2 months after that for them to get it scheduled. My insurance some reason never got around to approving the test. When I called asking why it was taking so long they said, "You never got anything from your insurance saying it wasn't approved?" They got it scheduled within a day then the day after that test was done I was being scheduled for a CTA. CTA was done on the Tuesday before Christmas. PCP got the results back a few hours after. I called Wednesday and was told he had not read over them yet. My husband called later that evening and was told the same thing. Thursday I called and was told they would put in for him to read the results and call me back that evening. No call. Friday no call. I called them around 1 pm to find out they closed earlier and would not be back in the clinic until the following week on Wednesday. It took a week for me to get important results back when they had them the whole time for a "High Priority" test that deals with blood flow to the brain. Needless to say I am still highly mad and will be filing a complaint with the medical board. Also planning on finding a new PCP once this new referral is done. 

So, I got my results Thursday from my local hospital. I got them from the place that did the test. Between Google and friends with medical knowledge from past jobs in the field on Facebook they helped me understand what was going on. My left vertebral artery is 1/2 the size of my right one. Right one is normal and left is small. This seems to be congenital meaning I was born this way. The blood is flowing, but keep in mind when the vessel is smaller that means it is a smaller amount flowing through. So after all these years of my life I have been at an increased risk of having a Stroke. I do not need a PCP to tell me now that what I have been experiencing has in fact been small strokes, or better known as TIAs. They are referring me to see a Vascular Specialist. I do need to see a specialist for this, but the referral is literally due to the fact my PCP has no clue about any of this kind of thing. I can't even ask my PCP to explain risk of this to me, because all he could say was, "This could be what is causing your symptoms." It isn't a could be. It is what has been causing my symptoms. A Neurologist who refused to even see me just from hearing my symptoms said, "That is from a lack of blood flow to part of the brain." 

So, what are my plans for the new year with this new bit of news? To stop worrying about what might kill me and just live life. I have kids to enjoy and watch  grow up. I have a husband to grow old with. I have a direct sales business to grow into a successful business and a team to build. I might be limited a lot, but this lady is learning how to work around those limits. 

Don't let life get you down. Show it who is boss. 

Many Blessings, 

L Caldwell

As the year ends

As we move to the end of 2018 I sit here and think about the months past. Actually, I think about years past. Everyone who has come and gone in my life. The holidays past. The loved ones I have lost. One thing keeps crossing my mind. Have I truly lived my life fully?

Many may wonder why that question is on my mind. For a good while, meaning I can not remember exactly when these symptoms started, I have had issues with dizziness. There have been other symptoms, but this year it has all been a lot worse. So this year has been a barrage of test and doctor visits. Finally as this year comes to an end some answers are coming out. An MRA has shown an abnormality in my Left Vertebral Artery. Two days from now I will be having a CT Scan done to see I guess exactly what the cause is. Pretty sure it is my neck since I have cervical spondylosis. Not exactly what I wanted to hear so close to Christmas, but it is nice to know for sure that I am in fact having mini strokes.

So, I wonder if goals in the new year really are worth making. Just to accomplish the few for this year has been a real battle. This medical stuff has made me feel so tired. Some days all I want to do is lay on my couch and nap. I want my kids to be shown no matter what things can be worked around or over come to accomplish a lot in life. Really though, how can I find the energy to kick off a business? What if I get to the point I am unable to do anything. Then what do I do? I already feel like I am having to be taken care of by everyone including my kids instead of me being the one taking care of everyone. It is a true struggle to be able to sit and allow others to care for me. Might be because I have no other choice really. I stand up to do much of anything and within minutes I am having to lay down and rest. Do any of you out there struggle with something in life? How do you get through it?

Tomorrow I go to see the ENT. I need to get my ears checked so that can be ruled out as another cause for my vertigo as well. My ears need to be checked anyways. Been long due since I seem to have issues with my ears. I swear I am falling apart with age so fast instead of aging gracefully it seems. For once I am ready for Christmas to come and go. I have had a good year as far as accomplishing my goals for the year. Outside of that it has gone by kind of fast. Been filled with way too much medical stuff and too many "Well, that test was normal let's try this."

Good night and many blessings!